the year after

It has been almost a year after my last post. Gosh, that is awhile.

At that point in my life, I was readjusting my schedule since Auni was born. I decided i needed to cut out the unneccessary frills from my already too hectic life, so I can concentrate on things that matter most to me. Since I had taken an early maternity leave beginning April 2011, October marks the start of my crazy make-up time with my work. And my emotional roller coaster ride in my love-hate relationship with my PhD research.

Once I had gotten my Internal Evaluation out of the way and confirmed the sufficiency of my data, we returned to Malaysia. We were living with my aunt by that time, as I have passed my 42 months mark with my sponsors, so we did not get any family allowance after that. It was such a relief to be back just to be back on your feet again, and in a blink of an eye, 4 months have passed.

At the moment I am working towards the finishing line, while facing even greater challenges than I have known throughout the journey. Beloved hubby is working several thousand miles away  and will only be back in December, and its just me & the kiddies at home. I have never missed anyone so much my entire life, and I feel a pang of sadness whenever our kids achieve a milestone that I know he’ll be proud of.

May Allah have mercy, and gives me strength to carry on my quest for a PhD. Ameen.

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Howdy it’s Friday!

I am so effing tired these days… the past 2 months have been filled with activities that render me no time to do anything else apart from family duties and my studies.

After Cekcek left, we struggled to cope with our new routines. We had some issues understanding Afwan in the beginning, and it took us almost a month trying to get through to him. Alhamdulillah, with diligence and prayers, he is a much happier toddler these days, and developing very well too :) . We’ve established a new daily routine for him, and have managed to synchronize his bedtime with Auni. So kiddies will be in bed by 9pm everynight, yay! Mummy & Daddy have a couple of hours to ourselves which we appreciate very much.


At the moment, DH has taken over the domestic duties (well, for the weekdays at least… I still value my time in the kitchen!) and works part time for a shipping company during every other weekend. It is a significant cut of our income, but I needed the time and peace of mind to concentrate on my PhD. It is crunch time, and hopefully this way we can proceed faster, and return home by next April. I was given a 3 months off time by my supervisor during my last weeks of pregnancy and Auni’s early months, but now am speeding up to complete the Internal Evaluation by mid January. Hectic yes, painful even more. Oh, add clueless to that equation too. I almost did a chicken dance at the post office after I sent off our visa application a couple of days ago.. it has been irritating me since early October! Hopefully all goes well, we get our visa extended till the end of my study.

Auni is doing very well, our little sweetheart … I seriously feel all of my trouble going away when I kiss her head everytime I got back from Uni. My only wish for now is I can continue to breastfeed her exclusively at least until she is 6 months old. There are days that I need to stay for long hours in the Uni now, it’s kinda hard to express when you have an annoying middle aged L***a* couple sitting across you and giving you *you should not be doing that, it is OBSCENE!* look everytime I took out my pump. Duh! Nasib aku guna nursing cover, kalau aku terpelahang jer, amacam? Terus pengsan agaknya?

BTW, if anyone is still interested in Avent VIA Breastmilk Storage Cups, let me know. The price is different now, might be higher as I couldn’t find any stock which gives the cheap price like before… but I will try to keep the increase to a minimum. I am also thinking of letting go of my trusted Medela Pump-In-Style Advanced, let me know if anyone is interested before I auction it off in eBay.  Will post pictures later. Right now the laundry tower is piling high… been ignoring it for the past week, have to do something about it now.. hehe.

Work hard Mummy. Everyone is counting on you.

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Auni Maisara

Lama sungguh blog tak berupdate. Dah naik sawang pun. Huhu.

I kinda lost all interest in anything to do with laptops once I reached the 39th week of pregnancy. Coincidently, the contractions were getting stronger, so I basically did not sleep at nights, coz that’s when they are at the most painful. Maktok, Atok & Cekcek dah sampai almost a month.. baby tak keluar2 lagi.. haiyo. I tried everything to induce my labour naturally… I walked everywhere, ate curry and pineapple, bounced on the pregnancy ball, this and that (oh, you know!)… and my due date came. And went. Still no baby. Turns out our little girl decided to come after 40 weeks and 5 days of pregnancy, via emergency C-sect. At that point I didn’t really care whether I get to deliver normally or not, I was really anxious to meet her.

Syukur Alhamdulillah, all is well. We were discharged on the 2nd day after her birth. A total sweetheart to all of us, my mom was especially delighted. She finally got a granddaughter to spoil, seeing Afwan is more of my dad’s bestpal these days.. hehe.

We named her Auni Maisara. I have chosen the name since we found out that we’re having a girl, and been calling my bump Auni ever since.. hehe.. although I got to admit, there was a nagging thought in my mind, thinking what if the sonographer got it wrong and a lil boy pulak yg keluar. Hoho. So we chose a boy’s name as well… just in case ;)

So far, she is as calm and serene as her name suggested.. murah rezeki pulak tu, mummy dapat breastfeed exclusively dengan mudahnya. We went for an 8 day road trip recently when she was 38 days old, and she was fine, no problems whatsoever. Alhamdullillah… let’s stay this way ye adik, banyak lagi yang perlu mummy selesaikan dalam masa terdekat ni. Semoga Allah permudahkan segala urusan kami sekeluarga, Amin.


p/s: will update more tomorrow.. now that the family is back home, kena la rajin update kan :)

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:: 36 weeks ::

11 May 2011

The pregnancy is going on fine.. backpain is now a staple, but the mattress is a great help for my condition. Baby is engaged, well has been so for the past month… no idea whether she decides to come early or smack on the due date. I think there is not much room for her to grow in my belly, and she is squirming more than actively kicking these days. I have gained about 8kg so far, waddling like mommy duck, dunno whether will gain any more or not… with maktok arriving this Sunday, chances are I will be gaining more :)

Coincidently, today my little boy turns 3. Afwan Daniel was born 3 years ago this very day, which was the Mother’s Day that year. He was really excited, and has been mentioning his birthday since we went to our friend’s kid birthday party in February. Been asking for a chocolate cake and alphabet balloons for his birthday. We bought his birthday present a few weeks back, and it has been hiding in the cupboard ever since. I think he must have forgotten about it, coz he was the one who pick out the present in TK Maxx.

He has grown so much.. he’s now able to read simple sentences, converse well with anyone and knows his mind very well. Showing more signs of being independent everyday. Likes things tidy and in order. Hates to have fingers dirty. Still obsessed with alphabets (English, Spanish & Greek… dun ask me why, I just don’t know). Sleeping is not a problem anymore, and now that he is off the nursery, he is returning to his happy healthy self. I did ask him last week, whether he wants to go back to the nursery… to which he calmly replied,

“No Mummy, I don’t want to go to the nursery. It is so boring!”

Haha..Boleh? Maybe he takes after me, I get bored easily too.. I remember telling my mom I do not see the point going to nursery, or tuition or kelas agama petang2 tu.. all because I felt that they are boring. I tend to hate structure when it comes to learning, it seems.. and it must have transferred to my kid. Ouch.

No plans for any birthday celebration yet.. we’ll wait for maktok, atok & cekcek to arrive this Sunday, and we will see. Probably we will set out for a picnic at Bolton Abbey or something… boleh mummy cari batu sungai nak buat tungku. Hehe.

Happy birthday Afwan Daniel! Mummy and daddy loves you very much…you have given us so much to look forward for and make our lives more meaningful with each passing day.

Have a happy life my darling son, may you be blessed with all things beautiful in life. Amin.

Posted in my everyday life | 2 Comments

:: 34 weeks ::

26 April 2011

Just thought of making an entry to mark the day I turn 33 years old and coincidently am 34 weeks pregnant… woke up to birthday call from my brother, a wall full of heartwarming birthday wishes in FB, little one kicking in my belly and kisses from my boys.

Life is good. Alhamdulillah.

I am officially on my maternity leave, and will resume working on my PhD after confinement. Miraculously, the coughing stop a few days after I gave the notice to my SV. The doctors were right, the stress is draining me of my physical well being. Huh.

No celebrations, yet. Probably in near future, or maybe just going to combine it with Afwan’s birthday do next month, so we will have a double celebration… or might just wait for lil’ baby to come out, and we can have a triple celebration… haiyaaa.. so malas lah me.

In the meantime, I am just going to enjoy the massive king size bed, courtesy of hubby dearest which he went against all odds to collect today. No words can describe how delighted I am to have a bigger bed, at this stage of pregnancy. Hehe :P

I am loving the hasselback, sweetheart. Thank you my love, you are my hero! :)

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:: 32 weeks ::

Hmm… remember my stint with the A&E earlier this month?

We have since decided to take Afwan off the daycare… seems like there is no added value to have him at the daycare if he keeps on getting ill and mummy keeps on getting his bugs all the time. I have been catching his bugs whenever he recovers, and then he goes to the daycare, and get them back.. then the cycle starts all over again. So now he stays at home with me. Full time.

I have been coughing non-stop for the past 2 months, making my back pain harder to deal with. Nothing seems to cure the cough. Urgh.

Been back and forth to the consultant to review my issue with the anaemia, turns out there is nothing that can be done… it is a condition that I have to deal with at least until the baby is born. So, I am told to slow down and rest, else I don’t have the energy for labour when the time comes.

Hopefully my SV will understand my condition of not being able to do my IE before I deliver. Suspen gak nak pegi jumpa dia next week… huhu. Frustrating, but it’s for the best.

Frustrated. Sad. Tired. :(

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“…it’s just a viral infection”. Again.

We got quite a scare 2 nights ago, when Afwan Daniel started vomiting non-stop for almost 4 hours… A frantic call to the hospital asking for advice landed us in the A&E that very midnight. Armed with a ‘sick basin’ and lots of tissue, we waited anxiously for our turn in the A&E, and was seen in triage within the next half an hour. We were then directed to the Panda Unit (for kids A&E, apparently) and that was when the waiting starts. For a friggin’ 2 and half hours.

It’s not that the staff did not see us waiting there, I positively believed that they cautiously averted any eye contact with us, looking down while they walked hurriedly to their desks… obviously giving us the message that they are very busy. And so it went on for the next 2 and a half hours, our final straw was when I started feeling pain in my lower back and belly… at that point DH decided we should leave, else I will be in labour from all the stress and waiting for someone to treat my son. My poor son was already asleep on the bench, tired from all of the non-stop vomiting (and probably had nothing else to vomit at that point), so we just left, and put our faith in God that everything will be alright. We got home at 3.30am, and went straight to bed. DH woke up 2 hours later and went to work.

The next morning he was getting better, still refusing to eat or drink… though no longer vomiting. We went to see the GP, who told us something that I have heard most during my entire stay in the UK “… oh, it just looks like he has a viral infection.”

Again. It seems to me that he is having a viral infection every other week now… never been much of an issue for me before, just that I thought kids were supposed to be tougher as they age? I expected him to catch a few things once he started daycare, but being ill almost every week? Is that normal?

We seriously need to consider the benefits/costs of having him at daycare, if this is the case.

One thing after another :(

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:: 28 weeks ::

It’s our typical night these days… Me on the sofa, too tired to move… Afwan Daniel running to and fro from the living room and toy room while he wears himself out till daddy is home. The 3rd trimester specific conditions are all kicking in now, and I am seriously concerned about whether or not I will be able to get my internal evaluation done before June. I am currently translating the data, working at the pace of a snail, now that I can no longer sit at my desk for more than 2 hours else I will suffer the excruciating back pain for the next 4 hours. Urgh.

It is a lot harder being pregnant this time around, the biggest issue I have at the moment is my anaemia… I am constantly tired, out of breath and fainting has become my best companion these days. During my first pregnancy, I have already had a blood transfusion at this stage to help me cope with the anaemia… but things are different here. Whatever it is, I am grateful to Allah that the baby is doing really well and healthy. Hopefully all is well this time around.. God knows how terrified I am at each checkup… Isk isk.

I really wish I can have some help at home now… Tapi apakan daya, reinforcements will not be here till mid-May, so till then I guess we just have to make do with whatever we can.

I am so thankful that DH is working hard day and night, 7 days a week to save up for the many expenses coming, and still manage to take up most of the household duties whenever he is home… Especially dealing with our tireless, active & super-creative toddler, which I know is not an easy task.

To my darling, thank you for everything… For the endless foot rubs, back massages, washing up and taking in all of my constant moodiness and tiredness with such wonderful support… Most of all, for making me feel beautiful every single day.

I love you.


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AVENT products for sale!

Hello people! Hari ni rasa nak meniaga lah sikit.. hehe… ;)

I have these items for sale, at BARGAIN price, all sealed, BRAND NEW IN BOX!


(a) Philips Avent Single Electronic Breast pump BPA free

Regular Retail Price : RM899

Selling Price : RM510

(b) Avent Newborn Starter Set BPA Free

Regular Retail Price : RM249

Selling Price : RM135

(c) Avent VIA Breast Milk Storage System 180ml x 10

Regular Retail Price: RM66

Selling Price : RM55



Cheap, eh? The thing is, I’m not looking to make a profit here, just want to help other breastfeeding mums who finds it a pain to buy quality breastfeeding gadgets in Malaysia. Another reason being, these will be shipped out in the cheapest manner possible from my humble home here, and should reach at my dad’s by end of April/early May. You can secure the item you like by a paying a small deposit, and pay the remaining balance before my dad post them out to your address in Malaysia. So, if you are not in a hurry, this might work out to be a great deal for you.

Interested? Drop me a comment, or email me at and I will get back to you! :)


UPDATE 02/11/2011: All item in this batch has already sold out, thank you all! Please check the latest batch (with more items!)  for order in my latest post ‘Breastfeeding/Baby Products for Sale!’

See you there! x

Posted in my everyday life | 26 Comments

Day 3 @ nursery

Getting better and better each day, mummy is able to do more and more work each day.. It’s working out great for our little family so far, Alhamdulillah.

On the first day he was crying when I came to pick him up, wanting to open the doors to the baby room in the nursery. On the second day, he was being a bit cranky but not crying when we got there.

Today, he came, gave me a hug and was all smiles, greeting me by saying “Hello Mummy, I am ready to go home now.. Bye-bye friends, see you on Monday!”

My little munchkin is growing up :)

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