I have just e-mailed my 2nd corrected draft of my report to my SV, and will be seeing her at 11am today along with my colleagues. I can now finally answer the call of my plush comfy bed.
My back is aching, my fingers are freezing, my eyes can barely open.. and unsuprisingly, my stomach has started growling.
But I have submitted my work. On time.
I have never felt this good since I started this journey.
Night night everyone! 
We set up a stall selling Nasi Tomato and our signature currypuffs at the Manchester Games. It was a busy day for us (and the couple of days before).. and I am glad I managed to submit my report before the sibuk2 masak session begins.
And I am super-thankful to God for making our day a breeze, and Afwan Daniel is such a pleasant toddler on that particular day.
He even slept for more than 2 hours in his stroller. Tengah2 bising tu, macam pasar malam ok. Kalau kat rumah, bising sikit dah celik mata.. hihi..
I have been very busy lately, worrying about my interim report and Daniel who just recovered from his spell of flu & fever. There’s so many things I want to blog about, but somehow the minutes just flew by me and before I know it, it’s already time for bed. However, tonight before I answer the call of my super-comfy bed, I just need to have a shout out..
Happy Birthday to my darling Abah.. who turns 61 today!
How I wish we’re home to celebrate this special day with him, looks like kena postpone sat celebration tu sampai bulan April.. hehe.. tak lama dah tu! Can’t wait!!
p/s: My report is almost done! Insya Allah.. esok boleh submit. Yay! 
My Iraqi colleague and I were talking about the values of photos in our lives today. He said he never kept any photos, not one of anyone, anything that he loves. He feels that looking at the photos after a certain amount of time, will bring him great sadness, will remind him of relationships he couldn’t maintain, due to the constant struggle in his life. To him, photos bring sadness, unnecessary attachments that will keep him down, and sway him from his aim in life. To be without any struggle.
Myself, I am totally the opposite. I value each photo I ever took, and every time I look at them I am reminded of my purpose in life. Time and time again, yes, the occasional homesick will set in, but it will be renewed with a stronger motivation to succeed. Which is why I always surround myself with the photos of the ones I love.
Tonight I was looking for photos to print for my scrapbook pages, and I came across these photos. An intense feeling came over me.
I miss them very much.
I miss them even more.
I will keep doing my best, I promise.
Part of the main cause of my non-stop headache these days is whether I should conduct my data collection here or back home. I have been back and forth with both ideas in my mind, and agonizing my mind to bits by trying to decide. Of course, it would not matter if I change my mind later, but to make my life easier, having a general idea of what to expect during data collection would help immensely in completing the research methodology section in my IA report.
Hence the dilemma. UK or Malaysia?
My school had organized a recruitment fair at the hall next to my building, so this afternoon I decided I would go and try my luck at networking with the companies who set up booth, looking for fresh graduates applying for summer placements. My friend Nyaoman accompanied me, as he is also having the same dilemma. We got to the hall at 1.45pm, and already all booths were swamped by eager undergrads looking for jobs, unusually smartly dressed and for sure, have showered and combed their hair properly this morning.
So me and Nyaoman had to menyelit and queue up to speak to the companies rep, and by the time we got to the 4th booth, I realised I was queueing on my own. Either I had wandered on my own out of impatience for the long queues, or Nyaoman found a good booth on his own and got held up.
Either way, I hope it is good news for both of us . I also managed to menyelit in between the eager job applicants and grab some freebies. This is why I just love Mat Saleh’s fairs. There are ALWAYS freebies.. be it education fair, recruitment fair, wedding fair or even summer fair. Hehe..
Out of 12 companies who turned up, I managed to get contacts from 7 companies. The next step is to submit my IA, (hopefully) pass the IA viva and then start emailing the companies to ask them the massive favour of allowing me to get some information from them. Worse case scenario, they will say no.. but someone might say yes. That is the risk every PhD researcher has to face. I pray to God that everything goes well this point forward.
I left the fair at 3.15pm, almost running to the bus stop, truly worried that I might be late. Thankfully First Bus cooperates with me today, and I reached home just before 4pm, in time for DH to leave for work.
My darlings greeted me at the door with big smiles, warm hugs and kisses. This has got to be my favourite time each day.
I am in the process of submitting my IA report, which is due within these couple of weeks. I would say I am about 40% done, still fiddling with the research methodology bit, and my research scope. I keep changing things every single moment, and it has yet to reach my SV.
I wonder if it’s possible for my mind to be more fickle with each passing moment? Coz that is exactly what it has been doing for the past 2 weeks… Help!
Just hope I can crack it up by next week.. really need things to be on schedule and spot on, if I want to enjoy my holiday in Spring.
Ooh.. can’t wait!
Photo by Claudio.Ar
Mummy first attempt during the mixer testing session last night. Oh ya, sila abaikan frosting yang comot2 tu, tak jumpa lagi icing set yang mampu di beli kat eBay.. so belasah tempek pakai sudu jer.. hahahaa. Daniel’s first ever chocolate cupcakes with butter cream frosting and he loves them! Yay mummy!
Mummy will be trying the carrot & walnut cupcakes with cheese cream frosting next when time permits
I have been back and forth about getting an electric mixer for ages, and the fact that I mengada-ngada teringin mixer yang super-duper mahal obviously does not help.
DH and me came to a point of compromise, where I had to forget my wants and focus on my needs. Fact; I need a mixer and fact; we don’t grow money in our backyard. Fact; we haven’t got much space left in our kitchen cabinets. Fact; I dah naik segan sebab dok pinjam mixer Baiti dah lebih 2 minggu. Fact; my kid loves cakes and muffins, and baking them beats buying in store. So after months of deliberation and surveying, we finally agreed on a hand mixer for the time being. (Note to self: kalau teringin jugak mixer mahal itu, sila simpan duit £10 sebulan. By the time habis PhD boleh beli. Sendiri mau ingat.. hahaha)
This lovely kitchen gadget arrived at our doorstep this morning.
Oh, the gentle purring sound of the 400w motor… and the effortless beating to perfection. The smart storage solution. Red in colour.
I am in love.
Today we went to a carboot market in Trafford Park, about 5 minutes drive from our apartment. The mission is to find some toys for Daniel & Wii accessories for DH. I just went along to see if I could find any baskets… coz in reality I am big fan of all things basket. Weird.
DH found his Wii stuff first, and we proceeded inside the warehouse. This carboot market is held indoors, which is why it is open in January where the weather is obviously still bitter cold (it even snowed a little last night). I was not looking for any clothes this time, coz we bought a bunch on Ebay last month, plus it’s getting warmer so no point in buying more bulky winter clothes which is what most of them were selling.
Daniel got his toys, mummy got her wicker basket and then we also got something else. A DeLonghi microwave oven, with convection & grill function for £10. It is used, obviously, but the interior & exterior of the microwave oven are stainless steel. DH was pretty confident that it is easy to clean, and the seller likes Daniel so much, he even gave him a toy car for free.
(Note to self: Bring Daniel to car boot market and train him to look adorable and cute, boleh dapat free gift lagi.. ahaks!)
Nice! Senang nak perangat lauk lepas ni. Hehe
Excuse me as I proceed to meroyan for awhile. You don’t really have to read this.
Yup, the blogpost that I linked in my previous post is a dated entry, tahun 2007.. but mind you, this is not the first time I got such opinion. Somehow tonight, I feel the need to say something about this. Kawan-kawan sendiri pun ada yg memperlecehkan golongan pensyarah IPTA dapat biasiswa study abroad. Katanya.. korang dapat biasiswa senang la.. Hello?? Kalau nak biasiswa study PhD, kenapa tak nak jadi pensyarah IPTA?? Gaji sikit yer?? Tak glamer la.. tak duduk dalam industri, rugi je penat2 ada ijazah profesional, tapi jadi pensyarah, waste of talent etc.. lagi teruk.. ada yang kata.. Those who can’t do, teach.
Oh really?
Do you know, my friends with such opinions, that us who you claimed to be lucky to get scholarships to study abroad, that we will be bonded to our employers for a number of years once we completed our studies, and most of us will happily remain in this profession until we are no longer needed. We, first and foremost, are lecturers. We want to teach. We want to build the nation. We want to nurture the future leaders so that they will lead our beloved homeland to greater heights. We want to do our part in expanding the boundaries of knowledge, so our nation will become a nation of intellects. A nation that could stand on its own, a nation that can be looked up to, a nation that can protect the destiny of their future generation in the best way they know how. That is our purpose.
Nak jadi tok guru, kena la pegi menuntut ilmu kan? Who would want to learn from someone who don’t bother to expand their knowledge? Takkan nak bagi ajaran sesat kot? I believe in order to teach, one must learn all they can. Not just by doing PhD, but in all other aspects in life as well. It is essentially the journey. What you have to do to get there. The triumphs, the agony, the heartbreak, the sacrifices, the joy, the pain… all are part of the learning process. To get that 3 alphabets that you could put after your name. The end of formal learning. Well, for me, at least.
To the outsider, studying abroad may seem glamourous. That we get to spend the tax payer’s money on a long vacation (oh btw, I pay my taxes every year ye, tak pernah miss lagi, Alhamdulillah). So you see pictures of holidays, snowman, beautiful sceneries, wearing seasonal attires.. scenes of perfect, wonderful happy moments. But think of it this way, would I post pictures of me up burning the midnight oil, of me when I was up for an entire week looking like a zombie while completing a write-up, or of me going to strangers houses collecting their unwanted items, or me rummaging through bundles of clothes up for sale at carboot markets? Buying things at budget/clearance sections? Would I show how pathetic my bank statements are every month? Would I share that I am seriously considering growing my own vegetables? Would I tell the whole world I shop at charity shops, eBay & discount stores? Menangis jugak mak ayah atuk nenek kami di Malaysia. Layanan orang pun lain macam je kat sini, kalau kena herdik/tengking/cemuh dalam bas/tempat awam tu perkara biasa, ada yang kena baling batu lagi… they don’t care if you are a lecturer from a university, they only know that you are a foreigner. If it wasn’t for my husband, the graduate, working as tukang cuci (kat Malaysia, illegal immigrant je keje mcm tu tau!), we wouldn’t have any extra money to spend. Or buy things at proper shop for that matter. I am far from complaining, mind you, I am so thankful for this golden opportunity.. but that is just how things are. In reality.
If there is one thing I can say to people with such negative opinions about me and my friends who are studying for their PhD abroad… it all comes to rezeki. What God had chosen to bless you with. Better you stick with what you know best, and let us do what we know best. If you are still complaining, well maybe you need a career overhaul, or do some serious thinking, the least. The world will be a much happier place if everyone knows what they should do to make it better, instead of complaining about others.
3 alphabets. After my name. Why should I bother?
Because that is one of my purpose in life. The central obligation I have to my Creator, my family, my employer, my students and my Malaysia.
Sekian, terima kasih.
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